5 Signs You’re Suppressing Your Feelings

If you haven’t learned how to process your emotions, they can begin to feel really heavy. Maybe you’ve pushed them down for a long time and don’t know how to get back in touch with them. Sometimes we learn to suppress our emotions in a way to survive and cope. It’s hard to know where to start!

I like to use the analogy that suppressing emotions is like over-stuffing a garbage bag. You can keep pushing things down over and over. However, eventually it’s going to rip out the bottom. At that point, it can be really hard to sort out what you’re feeling and where that feeling came from. It all becomes jumbled together, overwhelming, and even messy.

Here are some signs you may be suppressing your emotions:

• Feeling out of control– You might feel like you have a short fuse or not feel in control of how you express emotion. If you have been suppressing your feelings, there may be a build up that leads to a sort of “explosion”. This can feel really scary and you might tell yourself that you have to suppress your feelings even more. However, regularly expressing feelings (big and small) can help to alleviate this.
• Discomfort with other people’s emotions– If you have a hard time sitting with your own emotions, being around others who express what they feel openly may be uncomfortable. This applies to big expressions of emotions across the spectrum – happiness, sadness, frustration, excitement. Watching someone else freely express how they feel might draw attention to your own, inhibited, emotional expression.
• Disproportionate responses– Maybe you’re noticing yourself on the verge of tears after watching a commercial or hearing a song you’ve heard many times. Or you might become incredibly angry or flustered after spilling your coffee. You might find yourself wondering where it’s all coming from. This is a sign that your feelings are just under the surface and may come creeping out when you don’t expect it.
• Physical/somatic complaints without a medical cause– We hold our feelings in our bodies. If, for example, you are someone who gets a stomach ache every time you worry, and you are ignoring that feeling of worry, you might be experiencing some unexplainable stomach issues. Another way this shows up a lot is muscle tension and stress. If you aren’t acknowledging the stress, the muscle tension will be really difficult to manage. (I always recommend folks to get screened by their doctors, however, just to rule anything else out).
• Avoidance/numbing– Sometimes, in order to keep uncomfortable emotions at bay, we engage in activities that distract or numb us. This can be a coping skill and often the strategies we use are normalized such as – impulsive shopping, drinking, substance use, over working, or keeping ourselves so busy that we don’t have time to focus on emotions.

A big message here is that suppressing your emotions may have been a way to survive or cope with things that felt too big. Rather than this being a source of shame, it can be a great source of curiosity and a way to learn more about yourself through exploration and expression.

Therapy can be a great place to begin taking your time sorting through your emotions. If you’re ready to get started on your healing journey, I would love to support you. Click here to schedule an appointment with me today!

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