Reconnecting with Your Emotions: Why It Matters

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reconnect with emotions
From a young age, many of us are taught that our emotions don’t matter. We learn to silence them, doubt them, or push them aside. Maybe you’ve heard things like “it’s not that bad” when something really did feel bad, leading you to question your feelings. Or, “calm down, stop crying” when you were upset and needed to cry. Or even, “I was just kidding, that didn’t hurt,” when it actually did hurt, and it wasn’t funny.

Over time, this kind of messaging can train us to ignore or mistrust our emotions, especially when we’re facing tough situations—things we didn’t see coming not making the team, a breakup, or even traumatic experiences like sexual assault, divorce, death or a car accident.

When we lose touch with our emotions, we can start to feel disconnected from ourselves. This can lead to low motivation, difficulty communicating, and even unhealthy relationships. You might feel misunderstood or isolated. But the good news is, it’s never too late to reconnect with your emotions and start trusting them again. Here are some simple ways to begin:

1. Pay Attention to Your Body

Your body often knows how you feel before you do. Pause for a moment and tune in to what’s happening physically. Is your heart racing (maybe fear)? Is there tension in your chest (anger)? Are you feeling light and airy (happiness)? Or maybe there’s tightness behind your eyes (sadness)? Learning to notice these physical signs can be your first step in identifying emotions.

2. Name What You’re Feeling

Once you’ve noticed the physical sensations, try putting them into words. Some experts say there are six basic emotions: disgust, fear, surprise, happiness, anger, and sadness. Practice labeling what you’re feeling by saying it out loud or writing it down. For example, “I’m feeling angry,” or “I’m feeling sad.” This simple act of naming your emotions can help you reconnect with them.

3. Ask Yourself What You Need

This step can be tricky, so give yourself grace. Sometimes, you know what you need right away. Other times, it takes longer to figure it out. You might realize that what you need now are things you didn’t get growing up—like a hug, someone to talk to, or just a safe space to be yourself. And remember, what worked for you last time might not work this time, so be patient and keep exploring.

Here are a few ideas for managing specific emotions:

  • Anger: Hug a pillow and take deep breaths. As you breathe in, feel the pillow rise, and as you breathe out, feel it fall. This can help ground and calm you.
  • Disgust: Take a moment to reorient yourself. Identify what’s triggering the disgust, and, if possible, remove yourself from that situation.
  • Sadness: Allow yourself to feel sad. Visualize your sadness and offer it some comfort—maybe give yourself a hug or create space for the sadness to exist. You could also write a poem or draw a picture about how the sadness feels.

Why Emotions Matter

Our emotions are a form of communication. They tell us, “I’m feeling angry, and I need some space so I don’t say something I’ll regret,” or “I’m feeling relaxed, and I want to keep doing more of what makes me feel this way,” or “I’m scared, and I need to leave this situation.”

Your emotions aren’t bad. They aren’t too much. They’ve been there to help you through life’s challenges. The more you learn to recognize and honor them, the better you’ll feel—and the more connected you’ll become to yourself.

If you need more guidance around reconnecting with your emotions, I would love to support you. Schedule an appointment with me or one of our wonderful therapists at Love Heal Grow today.

liza haroldson therapist in sacramento
Hi, I’m Liza Haroldson​, therapist for individuals and couples at Love Heal Grow Counseling.

​I help individuals and couples cope with stress and overwhelming experiences so they can live a more connected and joyful life.You can experience more fulfillment in your life and relationships! I’m here to support you.

You can read more about me or schedule an appointment here: About Liza

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