Office Tour on Fresh Practice Design
This week, my midtown Sacramento office was featured on Fresh Practice Design. Fresh Practice Design lets you peak into therapists' offices across the country. I am a regular reader--I love seeing the diverse decor choices and hearing from therapists about the...
Indecisiveness: Get Unstuck by Taking Action
I was listening to a TED Talk a few months ago about decision-making. With the heaps of information and options available to us on a day-to-day basis, we can get paralyzed by indecisiveness as we look to make the “perfect” or “right” decision. Aziz Ansari shares often...
When Racing Thoughts Keep You Awake: 5 Tips for a Better Night’s Sleep
Are you having trouble sleeping? Are racing thoughts keeping you up? Do you just want to tell your brain to shut up and give you a break already? You might be worried about something coming up on the horizon, thinking through different scenarios and hoping things turn...
10 Reasons to Start Couples Counseling
Leading couples researcher and therapist, John Gottman, PhD has found that the average couple waits 6 years before seeking help for marital problems. That is a long time to be unhappy in a relationship! If you are considering starting therapy to improve your...
Tips for Making Friends in a New City (While Adulting)
Adulting is Hard. Making-friends-in-a-new-city-while-adulting can be harder. A friend and I were chatting over coffee about the growth in Sacramento as twenty- and thirty-somethings have begun to look for more affordable, but still hip cities to put down roots. Having...
A Window in to an Abusive Relationship – Big Little Lies on HBO
Are you caught up on HBO’s miniseries starring Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern? Big Little Lies, based on the book by Liane Moriarty, came to a conclusion on Sunday. The series absolutely enthralled me—the setting (Monterey) was gorgeous, the...
Reading The 5 Love Languages Isn’t Going to Save Your Relationship
Hot take: I'm not a huge fan of this famous relationship self-help book. Whaaaaat? Yep. I said it. I do think it's helpful--and necessary in most cases--to communicate to your partner when and how to show you love, but I don't think these actions alone are going to...
10 Signs You’re Ready for Therapy
Many of the people who contact me haven't been in therapy before. Maybe they have some friends who have opened up about their counseling experiences or maybe their only frame of reference is glimpses into therapy sessions on tv or in the movies -- which let me tell...
You’re Not Broken
“Can you fix me?” It’s happened many times. A new client comes in for their first appointment. They’ve read my website, we’ve talked briefly on the phone, and after going over the questions that help me learn more about you in the first session—they take a deep sigh,...
How to Complain in Relationships
Conflict in relationships is inevitable. Your partner continues to show up late for date night. Or maybe they made a big purchase on your joint account without consulting you. No matter how much love and understanding there is in our relationships, our partners can do...
How To Rebuild Trust After Infidelity: Part II
Last week I wrote about rebuilding trust after infidelity. Much of the focus was on helping the hurt partner heal after they learn about the infidelity. This week, I want to talk about the partner who had the affair. While the unfaithful partner* must take...
How To Rebuild Trust After Infidelity: Part I
Couples who are committed to healing after infidelity do the hard and often rewarding work of rebuilding trust. I spend time supporting my couples in conversations to help the hurt partner* rebuild trust. This includes: Helping the unfaithful partner provide...
Valentine’s Day in Sacramento
I walked into Raley’s this weekend and I was BOMBARDED with pink and red. A dozen roses for $100—reserve them now! Candy, cookies, balloon bouquets—don’t forget to shower your loved one with goodies! Visions of last-minute shoppers rushing to the store so their...
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) – Sacramento Relationship Therapist
What is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)? Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) is a structured approach to couples therapy which focuses on what we know about adult attachment and how couples bond. Emotionally focused...
5 Stages of Grief & Loss
When we give ourselves permission to grieve, we often move through 5 stages of grief. We don’t move through these stages in any specific order, though. And we can absolutely go back and forth through the emotions—or move to acceptance and still have days pop up where...
Gottman Method Therapy – Sacramento Relationship Therapist
What is Gottman Method Couples Therapy? Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman of The Gottman Institute, Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a research-based approach to strengthening relationships. Dr. John Gottman has been studying relationships for decades, gaining...
When you’re grieving: There’s no “wrong” way
You lost someone you love and it seems like everyone is saying things like... “They’re in a better place.” “You’ll see them again one day.” “They would want you to move on.” “At least you got to say goodbye.” “At least they aren’t in pain anymore.” “At least you have...
We are all connected. Act accordingly. ️
Important Information for Couples Seeking Lasting Love
In addition to the counseling I do with couples, I spent 4 years facilitating relationship groups at a Sacramento community agency. I loved this work—and to make it even better, I led the groups with my spouse. We were able to play a part in helping to strengthen...
Good Enough.
So many of us battle perfectionistic traits. No matter how hard we try, we fall short of our own standards. This can lead to harmful self-judgement, shame, chronic stress. Maybe these standards came from society's expectations, a less than nurturing caregiver, or an...
We’re In This Together
These words bring me so much comfort whether I'm reciting them to a friend, hearing them from my partner, or repeating them in my mind. Feeling alone is a natural part of being human. We've all felt this way. And it can be painful. Next time you are feeling alone,...
