Not all relationships end in happily ever after. It’s a hard truth, but for most of us, breakups are inevitable at some point. Sometimes they’re a relief; sometimes they’re impossibly hard. Just as every relationship is unique, every breakup is also different. Getting over a breakup means different things for different people, and the way one person handles the end of their relationship is going to be different from the way you might do it. However, there are some steps to take that will help you, regardless of the exact situation. Here are our relationship counselors’ favorite pieces of advice for recovering from a breakup.
Allow Yourself to Feel
The first step in healing from a breakup is to allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions that come with it. It’s normal to feel sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief all at once. Don’t suppress these emotions; instead, acknowledge them and allow yourself to process them in a healthy way.
Some people take comfort from surrounding themselves with positive influences, like uplifting music, inspiring tools, or motivational podcasts. But not everybody responds to positivity the same way. For some people, forcing positivity can be harmful because a mindset that only has room for positivity might not have room for your actual feelings. It’s ok to let yourself feel sadness, regret, anger, and other negative emotions. We have these feelings for a reason!
Instead of trying to force yourself to feel positive, allow yourself to process your emotions. Forcing positivity is like putting up wallpaper to hide a crack– it might seem nice from the outside, but it doesn’t deal with the structural issues underneath. It just hides them. Instead, patch your metaphorical wall by allowing yourself to feel what you feel and ride out your emotions all the way through.
Reach Out for Support
During this time, it’s essential to lean on your support system. Reach out to friends and family members who care about you and are willing to listen. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed or if you need additional support.
Practice Self-Care
Self-care is crucial during the healing process. Make sure to prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Take time to do things that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s going for a walk, practicing meditation, or indulging in your favorite hobby.
One form of self-care that often helps after a breakup is creative expression. Channel your emotions into creative outlets such as writing, painting, music, or crafting. Expressing yourself creatively can be therapeutic and provide a healthy release for pent-up emotions. It allows you to process your feelings in a constructive way while also tapping into your inner creativity.
Set Boundaries
If possible, establish boundaries with your ex-partner to create space for healing. This may include limiting contact, unfollowing them on social media, or avoiding places where you’re likely to run into them. Remember, healing is your priority, and it’s okay to prioritize your well-being over maintaining contact with your ex.
You also may need to set some boundaries with friends and family, especially if this was a long-term relationship with lots of mutual friends. While your friends and family likely want to support you, they can’t read your mind and don’t always know what’s harmful or helpful. There also may be aspects of the breakup or relationship that they don’t know about, and you aren’t obligated to tell them. However, you should– for your own sake– make sure that your loved ones know what is and isn’t helpful for your healing process.
Focus on Yourself
Use this time as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. Focus on activities that bring you fulfillment and help you reconnect with yourself. Whether it’s pursuing a new hobby, setting personal goals, or investing in your career, channel your energy into things that uplift and empower you.
Practices like mindfulness and meditation can also help you cultivate focus on yourself and your needs. Incorporate mindfulness and meditation practices into your daily routine to cultivate inner peace and emotional resilience. Mindfulness techniques can help you stay grounded in the present moment, reducing anxiety about the past or future. Meditation can also promote relaxation and mental clarity, allowing you to approach challenges with a calmer mindset.
Practice Gratitude and Forgiveness
Despite the pain of a breakup, there are still things to be grateful for in your life. Take time each day to reflect on the blessings and positive aspects of your life. Cultivating a mindset of gratitude can help shift your perspective and bring a sense of peace amid the storm.
Forgiveness is also a powerful tool for healing, both for yourself and for your ex-partner. Holding onto resentment and bitterness will only prolong your pain. Instead, practice forgiveness as a way of releasing yourself from the emotional burden of the past.
Embrace Change
Breakups often signify a significant life transition, and it’s essential to embrace the changes that come with it. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship while also embracing the opportunity for new beginnings and growth. Remember that change is inevitable, and it’s okay to feel uncertain about the future.
Seek Closure
Closure looks different for everyone, but it’s essential to find a sense of closure that feels right for you. This may involve having a conversation with your ex-partner to gain clarity or closure, writing a letter that you never intend to send, or simply finding closure within yourself. Trust your instincts and do what feels most healing for you.
Take It One Day at a Time, But Don’t Forget The Future
Healing from a breakup is a gradual process, and it’s important to be patient with yourself. Remember that healing isn’t linear, and there will be good days and bad days. Take it one day at a time, and celebrate the small victories along the way. There is a future ahead of you, and it’s full of great things. While it’s essential to process the emotions associated with the breakup, it’s also important to focus on the future. Use this time as an opportunity to envision the life you want to create for yourself moving forward. Set goals, make plans, and take steps toward building the future you desire.
Remember, recovering from a breakup takes time, patience, and self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey, and know that healing is possible. You are stronger and more resilient than you realize, and you will emerge from this experience with a newfound sense of strength and clarity.
If you ever need someone to talk to or if you need additional support, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the therapists at Love Heal Grow. Our compassionate relationship counselors and coaches are here for you every step of the way.
